To the person who is struggling with selective memory that is fueled by hindsight. This, my friend, is for you.

I know where you are. I’ve been there. Truly, we all have. It’s a mental trap where it hurts to hold onto the pain, but feels almost impossible to let it go. You’re stuck on suffering and question if there is even a way out. But there is always a way to overcome that burden that you carry so near to your heart. However, to get beyond it you must wholeheartedly go through it.

Drowning in the details

Allow yourself to feel and deal with that pain as you accept that its place in your life is no longer welcome or warranted. Most importantly, accept the things you cannot change and understand that life seldom plays out how we’d ideally have it.

No matter how good, detail oriented, or perfect you may want to be — your life will not always go according to plan. In fact, there will be seasons that seem to go in every direction except that one you so desperately want it to go. You will choose the wrong paths, experience consecutive losses, and feel broken at the hands of those you helped put together. Those times will seemingly stop the clock and sometimes even act as a reference point of your joy and pain.

As wonderful as our lives may have been before and after those experiences, some of us still wrestle with letting go of the storms that led us to this place.

We see the fruit of our lessons and losses today, but struggle to release the bitter taste of yesterday’s pain. We do this because we are human. We do this because our hearts have been changed, and we have difficulties accepting that one time they were so hard.

Keep your head above water

We do this because although we may be refined, resilient, and ready to level up now, we can’t shake the rebellion we once showed, the disrespect we once endured, or the wreckage we had to wade through to seek higher ground.

In those times whenever the waves of regret and resentment want to crash in, simply remember one thing: God allowed it. Every single thing that occurred — both good and bad — had to unfold exactly how it did to bring forth the level of compassion, awareness and strength that you possess today.

Release the experience that immediately comes to your mind whenever you hear the words “let it go,” and hold on to your lessons. You are more than your mistakes and foolishness. You are more than the pain you endured.

There is more to your story than your struggles, shortcomings and shame. Celebrate your strengths, be proud of your progress and forgive the failures of yesterday.

This is your journey, testimony and truth. Now is the time to release it all and rest in your resilience. Regret nothing and choose to grow. Every piece of life’s puzzle created the amazing person you are today. Embrace it.

MORGAN RICHARD OLIVIER is an author, business owner, and wife from New Iberia. She uses empathy and lessons learned to empower and encourage others.

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