Ready for a commitment of a lifetime

This Saturday, I will be married. The thought alone is one I am not used to. At 27, I’ve never been married, although, I have certainly witnessed firsthand my fair share of good and not-so-good marriages.

In my humble opinion, the best marriage, as for as growth and strength, belongs to my Mom. However, it is the one she is in currently with my stepfather and not the one she had with my real father. In fact, it’s my mom’s second marriage and my stepdad’s fourth. But they are well over 15 years into this one and seemingly getting happier by the day.

On the other hand, my dad is a double-divorcee and actually called it quits on marriage No. 3 before it began, even though he was already engaged. Considering my first stepmom is already remarried, that makes a combined 10 marriages between those who were supposed to be the ones setting an example for me.

Needless to say, that although I love, respect and value the opinions of the parental figures in my life, making sure my own marriage is a successful one is going to be up to me and my bride to be. Luckily, I’m in good shape there. Like many men in my family, I married above what I deserved so any future problems will not be on her. That leaves me.

So what is a young man to do? My fiancée and I make each other happy, have similar goals as far as raising a family and would rather spend time together than apart. But don’t most marriages begin in similar fashion?

You hear almost weekly that marriages in this country dissolve at a one-in-two rate. I have no idea if that is anywhere near an accurate statistic, but in my experiences, it seems to be an optimistic one.

Yet, as the days before I’m married turn into hours, worried is an emotion furthest from my mind. The odds might be stacked against us and the path in which myself and my fiancée took to reach each other may be unconventional, but I know we have the makings of a lifetime commitment.

When I was growing through college and even into my early 20s, I never stopped twice to think about what made successful couples work. My own parents were divorced before I even remember, so separation seems almost natural. Yet today, I stop and take stock of each happy couple I come to encounter. I know they have been through the battles and emerged on the other side, better for it.

My marriage begins in five days. It might not always be a smooth ride, but it’s an adventure I’ve been preparing for my whole life. Hopefully, my own children will come to respect it as something it should be — a lifetime commitment and not simply a statistic.

STEPHEN HEMELT is city editor for The Daily Iberian. E-mail him at stephen.hemelt@daily-iberian.com.