While speaking to Larry Langlinais on the phone, I asked him to tell me about the best gift Santa ever delivered to their house. Their son, Barret. was born on Nov. 24, 1969, so their Christmas celebration centered on a baby boy just like the one in Bethlehem.

Santa brought Barret early because the stork needed help in his baby-delivering business and Santa couldn’t risk missing his Christmas Eve deadlines. The stork was having beak and wing trouble from all those years hauling babies. The only babies Santa delivers now are dolls.

Oddly enough, everyone got into the habit of calling him Santa Baby. Singer Eartha Kitt had a hit song of the same name in 1953.  The name stuck.

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Eartha was Catwoman on the TV series Batman. Eartha made a long list for Santa Baby, including a sable coat, a convertible, a yacht, a generous check and a request that he decorate her tree with bling from Tiffany’s. She claimed to have been a good girl, but Santa considered passing her up so as not to throw his back out of whack trying to get a convertible and a yacht down the chimney.  Santa did not want to disappoint her so he parked them on what he thought was the Cajun Riviera.  A couple of Cajuns showed up and  told her, “Dat is down da bayou at Gran’ Isle or way over dere by Holly Beach. Dem people, dey been fussin’ about which one of dem places gonna take dat name. Nobody can make their minds up about which one got built back up furse after dem hurricans. Drive dat convertible to Cypremo’ Point and get on da boat and go from dere.”

  Eartha hitched the yacht to the convertible and was driving around showing off her bling. People started hollering, “Tro me sometin’ Eartha!” A wise Cajun said, “Mais dey mus’ be tinkin’ it’s Mardi Gras. She gonna haf to cut up her trip short an go back to da jewry place and get mo’ bling. Santa done lef dat big chec’ she axe fo’under da tree. Nobody ever gonna see notin’ of Eartha no mo’.

Just for fun, I asked Father Mike Arnaud at Nativity Of Our Lady Church to tell me his favorite Christrmas song.  For some reason I associated the Charles Brown favorite, “Please Come Home for Christmas” with Father Mike. He thought I was strange, of course, but to humor me he agreed that the song was okay because it fit in with Diocesan theme at Christmas inviting every one who has been away to please come home for Christmas. I wish that all our service men and women, where ever they are, could please come home for Christmas. I’m remembering the words to the old WWII song, “May our loss be nothing but time, till then.”

Merry Christmas!  Happy New Year!  Ummm ... I see a big piece of double chocolate mocha cake under the tree.

Who could it be for? It’s mine now! Where’s the milk?

NANCY PEARCE is a resident of New Iberia and a former contributor to a liturgical guide for priests. Many of her features appeared in a major national publication for teenagers.